It has always been grace

There is a saying... the Lord is faithfull.. even when we are faithless...

When I read my previous blogs.. and i can remember the whole moments when i wrote those.. i realized i was so messed up in my soul...

I tried so hard to feel secure in life... feel OK with life.. but i wasnt...

I felt judged the whole life.. and pushed to be perfect at all time.. i have so much fear of some people that will overwhelm me to be who they want me to be.

Im tired of being pushed...

there are things in life... i didnt know why it happens in the beginning.. but now it all makes sense...

my heart knows well.. that He is kind to me..
He has a plan. a perfect one for me

all my life... even until now.. I have so much to do list...
But i feel im enough..
im not pushed anymore.. and the person that pushed me so much now, fear of losing me...
because there is someone else who loves me for who i am...

The rough path we go thru, isnt meant for us to be bitter... or to be proud of what we have achieved now...

those paths is for us to build empathy... understanding , love and kindness for others.

People will not feel blessed by us bragging our pride ( read: wealth and achievements)

They feel blessed by us sharing life.

in the end.... or even now...
it has always been Ok....

Malachi 3:10 10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. Mark 2 1 A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. 2 They gathered in such large numbers that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. John 10:10 … I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 15:1"I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 "Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 "You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. 4 "Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. 5 "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. Mark 2 22And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins.” When There is Jesus... There will be abundance.. He is not a God who is "just to get by" kinda God. He wears the best linen of His time. its so clear that He came to gave us life.. an abundant life. Many people perceived the verse as in for other things than financial. I believe it is. but He wont let us always be a "striving financially Christian". or a mediocre when we can be the BEST . but it is also our JOB to be the VESSEL or the NEW WINE CASE... always be ready to renew ourselves.. ready to change... ready to receive...

I have asked the Lord and He spoke to me . clearly.

Galatians 1 : 1 
........Bukan karena manusia, juga bukan oleh seorang manusia, melainkan oleh Yesus Kristus dan Allah, Bapa, yang telah membangkitkan Dia dari antara orang mati.

segala kepusingan aku mengenai hal hal duniawi... ketakutan aku akan hal hal duniawi yang akan datang.. dapat kuserahkan kepada Tuhan. bukan hanya itu... tp dengan percaya kepada kebenaran bahwa... memang segala sesuatu dari awalnya datang itu bukan karena manusia. kami di jadikan sampe sekarang ini segala langkah kami berawal dari oleh Yesus Kristus. dan ke depan nya dapat kami percayakan kepada Yesus kristus dengan guidance dan iman kepadaNya. 

"......kasih karunia menyertai kamu dan damai sejahtera dari Allah, Bapa kita, dan dari Tuhan Yesus Kristus"

Paulus berbicara kepada jemaat di gereja galatia. tp juga kepadaku. aku dapat mempercayakan imanku kehidupan masa depanku kepada kasih karunia Tuhan Allahku. Intervensi dari Nya pertolongan dari Nya yang membuat ku tenang dan tetap berjalan di air yang tenang. 

4 who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age,according to the will of our God and Father, 5 to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Kasih karunia Tuhan ... Dia mati di kayu salib supaya kita ini terlepas dari kehidupan jahat dunia... dan sudah terbukti selama aku hidup. Dia selalu melindungi aku dari yang jahat.... bahkan ketika aku complain akan keputusan2 DIa .. tetap Dia memperlihatkan aku.. bahwa aku ini di lindungi DIa... 
ujungnya pasti untuk kemuliaan Tuhan.

1:6	Aku heran, bahwa kamu begitu lekas berbalik dari pada Dia, yang oleh kasih karunia Kristus telah memanggil kamu, dan mengikuti suatu injil lain,
1:7	yang sebenarnya bukan Injil. Hanya ada orang yang mengacaukan kamu dan yang bermaksud untuk memutarbalikkan Injil Kristus.

Aku pun heran betapa cepatnya aku ketakutan akan hal buruk yang akan terjadi padaku. atau iman yang gampang goyah... dan cepat banget aku tidak percaya lagi dengan iman yang telah kudapatkan dahulu kala.. 

dan mengikuti injil yang lain: mengikuti norma dunia... terkadang ini yang menjadi batu sandungan aku. ada norma norma dunia yang aku terapkan dalam kehidupan cinta aku... yang sebenarnya membebankan orang yang kita kasihi.. omongan omongan orang yang mengacaukan aku ... yang kemungkinan harusnya aku sabar menanti tapi aku jadi kacau balau... karena norma yang sebenarnya bukanlah firman Tuhan. 

pilah yang mana yang kebenaran. yang mana norma manusia. jangan sampe menjadi sebuah kebenaran. 

Tuhan itu out of the box.... memiliki anugrah dan keajaiban masing masing karena itu berjalanlah dalam iman dan pengharapan kepada DIA... dan LOOK UP TO HIM.... and you will see wonders of His majesty. 

I am very grateful that im facing plenty of problem . That it require me to fear of the Lord and to dilligently pray once again

i believe i am on track. just that i need to love Jesus more.. by relying on Him

with this blog i wanted to say it firm that I will just pray and let God.

I am scared of losing... but im also vr stress

i will not decide on anything. and just let Him alone...

amen

n i c o d e m u s

i am very impressed with this man of God. This is actually an old revelation that i felt proud of.. Because it is amazing and no other people really talk about it... HA!!!


Love this man named Nicodemus. A respected religious man who is hunger for the truth. He didnt conform with his society and his status as a pharisee, but he walks and talks because of the truth.


When he met Jesus discreetly, Jesus's responds wasnt so nice also...

but as i read more in the bible and in wikipedia..he is very amazing.. he dared to challenge the court that Jesus has the right to be heard before the judge.

i think he was the only guy who has the gut to at least speak out to the court for Jesus.

also, when Jesus was dead.. he assisted Joseph from arimmatea to help him take his body .
according to historian, he was a wealthy man, he brought myyrh and aloes yang banyak sekali ...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicodemus

I want to start to learn about more bible characters who had an amazing life and faith in God

p u r e l o v e

When choosing a life partner.. checklist, standards etc will fall apart when it comes to love.. As many as people giving me a lot of advices on logics rather than love, it is the substance of love that i have been searching for these whole life.

my heart couldnt choose without love.

my heart has no choice where love exist.


Dear you,

my gift of Christmas.

I know I am wrong. I am sorry that i love you. I am sorry that i care for you, that you has lost a pure friendship from me. Seeing how innocent and pure you are about us, is a pain and peace at the same time.

Listening to you, seeing you getting stronger each day is my joy and my treasure. Your sadness become my sadness, your comfort become my goal, your future becomes my prayers.

maybe this is pure love,

not asking you to be mine, but loving  you for who you are.

facilitating freedom that you seek.

supporting your heart prayers and desires.

I would like to be a home for you

and my prayers is that...

maybe someday....

Purpose in Life - calledcourse - lesson 1

Purpose in Life

We have a general calling as a believer and specific calling in our life.

1. i have a call to live a holy life (1 thessalonians 4:7)
2. I have a call to know Jesus intimately
3. I have a call to forgive when we have been treated unfairly.
4. I have a call to live in freedom (gal 5:13)
5. To serve one another

I have a special specific calling in my life. And He will prepare the way for me. only I can walk the paths He lays out for me.

My calling is isnt about me. It is to established me in a strategic position for the sake of serving those around you in a powerful way to build God's kingdom.

Calling is not just for those who works for ministry. some people are called to be a consultant, and IT programmer, an accountant, and some are ministers.

When we live in our calling, we are not benefitting only for ourselves, but we glorify the Lord, His love and presence will always be with me and powerfully impacting so many lifes.

I am created on purpose for a purpose to do something.

but I need to know my primary identity


My primary identity is : I am a servant

if we dont have our primary identity, our calling will destroy us.

"what we do for ourselves dies with us, what we do for others is immortal" .



Discussion:

1. How does knowing that everyone has a calling, not just pastors and ministers, change the way you approach life?

I know about it, thats why im trying to learn to find out whats my specific calling in God.

2. Why is your primary identity to be a servant, regardless of the specific calling God gives you?
the opposite of a servant is a boss. if i have a bossy heart, or even a bossy attitude, how can my calling impacting others? it would be all about me. and the way i want it to be. and these ego and pride not just gonna destroy our calling and the main purpose of God's calling but also towards ourselves.

3. Why is the connection between identity and calling so important?
I cant build something big if myself is so limited

4. What has God already told you about your specific calling?
i am not so sure on this. but what i know , i am fruitful in business as a childrenwear fashion business entrepreneur.

5. What steps are you taking to walk or grow in your specific calling?
i dont know,  if its impactful towards others... im not sure about what i hear from God