Teach me how to pray

Teach me how to pray.


Our God, The Father who owns the heaven is a person. He is here as a person with us in form of the holy spirit.

praying for me is like finding Him and fellowshipping. Sharing my heart to Him, knowing He is there to listen and understand my heart.

One verse that gives me confidence in finding Him, is "draw near to me and I will draw near to you". I am lazy to finding Him feeling afraid that He will tell me that I am wrong here . and wrong there. but as i read more in the bible... He is not like that. He is not a father we all see in this world. He is a father who loves us. His love cant be comprehend with our human mind.

He is a father we never have. even if you have a perfect father, your human dad is just a glimpsed of who HE is.

Bible says "psalm27:10 : though my Father and Mother forsake me, He took me in".

I dont know who you are reading my blog. but i can assure you... that He wants to take you in, as His child. He loves you, and He has what is best for you, you can ask HIm, might not be what you want ... but you can trust HIm..

I have walked with Jesus for past 15 years. i have sets of disappointments of not getting what i want in life. but I said to Him, that I will still walk with Him and trust Him no matter what happened in life. I realize every "short-term" dissapointments turns out to be for my good ... and now i'm 31 years old. theres none of my dissapointment journeys actually is a dissapointment. All of it turns out to be for my good and my benefit... I can only see all this backward... and so thankful to HIm.

and the greatest thing is, all of it.... makes me understand Him even more... knowing Him as a father.. whom i cant see ... but i can feel and know His love for me.

the journey of my walk with God is the realization of this verse
Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

And through all the bad journeys... I can see His trails of His protections... never once He forsake me. WHen i shouted that He is not helping me. When i threatened Him to leave HIm. WHen i cursed HIm in my heart. None of the above bothering Him or keeping HIm from loving me.. 

How can I not be thankful to Him. 

Friends, He is a real God... He is a real Father... If He loves me, He loves you too.... 

what we need to do is to welcome HIm... no matter how dirty we are.. maybe we are addicted to pornography, or drugs... or sex.. or alcohol... we can come to Him and ask Him for help. 

Jesus taught us the prayer "our father in heaven" as the first sentence in the Lords prayer. now I understand why He put that sentence at the beginning of the prayer.

Everytime, i wanna talk to someone i love or i care, I will call his / her name with gentle heart and voice.. asking him to come and listen to me.

and that is Him. He listens.. He loves... and He also disciplines.. discipline could be painful... but discipline will guide our life.. to gain understanding could cost our life (proverbs 4)... but only understanding coud guide our life...

So come to Him. He is there for you.. with you... and never forsake you

Mean girls

Okay, Ive been known as a girl with not much complaints. Known as a kind sweet girl to strangers, but it doesnt mean that no one ever be mean to me.

I dont think you will read this blog of mine, bitch.


One of the most people i couldnt stand, is mean people. Usually girls become mean out of jealousy.

When someone is mean.. either the person realized or dont realized it, it is the victim who feels things.

I dont know why, some girls ... strangers or , acquaintances not even friends... could ever be so mean to me...

I have no idea, why they hated me so much... i take it as jealousy.

They could bitch me in public for being nice to others...

I have this eery feeling or maybe fear everytime i see that (few) people. even thou she is now happily not more jealous of me and have something that they have been longing for.

Now these people could suddenly greet me without memory of being a bitch .

in the end... they were wondering why i do not want to be their friend anymore...

when they realize that i was hurt by their actions, they will kindly defense themselves for being ignorant and i was too sensitive.....

Yes, we sometimes meet wrong people.

Masa lalu

Paling senang kalau bisa berdamai dengan masa lalu . hampir Semua film menunjukkan pertempuran oleh dikarenakan seseorang atau banyak tidak dapat berdamai dengan masa lalu.

Terkadang bukan masalah karena diri tidak dapat berdamai. Tetapi ini memang hidup. Hidup itu penuh tantangan, dan tantangan terbesar dalam hidup biasa nya adalah untuk berteman dengan masa lalu. Karena masa lalu memang sudah hilang dan tidak ada, tapi jejak dan sisa nya sering kali jelas masih hidup di dalam diri seseorang.

 Saat ini, saya bisa dengan lantang berkata saya sangat bahagia, karena jejak masa lalu yang buruk buruk sudah betul betul samar dan bisa di katakan punah. Jujur tidak ada yang saya lakukan untuk menghilangkan nya , saya hanya mengakui, berdoa dan membalikkan pikiran. Tidak ada kata maaf yang terlontar atau apapun. Saya hanya fokus akan apa yang harus saya fokuskan. selebihnya urusan Tuhan.

agak ngeri untuk dapat membayangkan apa yang masa lalu dapat lakukan kepada masa depan seseorang. tapi memang tidak usah di pikirkan.

Saya berkeputusan untuk seolah olah memandang orang sebagai seseorang yang baru. sekalipun dia ada di masa lalu. masa lalu terkadang seperti mimpi buruk yang di ingat kan kembali oleh seorang kawan lama.

Setiap orang memiliki cerita, cerita memang perlu di ingat. Tapi orang pasti berubah. Ketika seseorang telah berubah, barulah cerita lama yang buruk itu menjadi indah. karena itu saya berkeputusan untuk melihat seseorang seolah olah sudah berubah, sekalipun dia belum mau berubah.

*Nin